There are ample sartorial conundrums out there – can you show your bra straps or how short is too short for a wear-to-work skirt? But one of the biggest issues we’ll all face at some point involves footwear, specifically to remove or not remove at a party?

To help us answer this conundrum (and to ensure you do the fashionably forward thing at your next house party), we contacted our resident etiquette expert Karen Cleveland of Finishing School.

The mark of a good host is whether or not they allow guests leave their shoes on? To think of all the time wasted, mixing drinks, whipping up food and introducing guests to each other. Pity. There is no right or wrong answer to this conundrum. But there is a place for common sense. Are these shoes freshly in from an icy or sopping wet walk on an April day? Or are they sandals that have been meticulously wiped on the front door, practically spotless, on a dry June evening.

More variables: is your carpet white or made of the skin of an exotic animal? Is your flooring fairly low maintenance hardwood that cleans up with a quick wipe? Despite all of these things to consider, it’s the host’s call, though they risk bristling a guest that differs in shoe placement opinion.

Hosts: there is a tacit liability that when you invite guest over, they might unintentionally get your things dirty. If you have an area rug that is really precious, roll that white animal skin rug up and put it away for the night. Don’t serve exclusively red wine, particularly if the crowd or occasion is bound to get raucous. If you prefer guests keep their shoes off, enlist the help of your trusted friends. Ask them to arrive a bit early and stage their shoes just so, so that other guests will hopefully get their cue.

Guests: if there is a stack of shoes at the entrance to a party, that is a clear signal to take off your shoes and add them to the pile. Get a vodka soda or other transparent beverage and start dancing on the nearest white animal skin rug.

Questions, comments and conundrums are most welcome at twitter.com/schoolfinishing or formspring.me/KarenCleveland.

(Originally published on Stylelist Canada, April, 2013)

Thank you so much for your support of the [amazing cause]. I’m pleased to share that, with your help, I was able to raise [an outrageous amount of money] last month. The funds raised help support [details of impressive project] in [location].

You can check out more about [impressive project] at [www.URL.com].

In gratitude,

[fundraiser]

-Cash broke, karma rich

—————

There are no shortage of great causes to support—and good on the intrepid hustlers out there raising money for them! But it’s not realistic to support every charity in your city. In fact, you might actually feel like you’re making more of an impact if you focus your donations on the charities you really care about.

Your friends’ philanthropic interests aren’t mouths around a table that you have to dole out equal portions to. If the request is by email (or, cringe, Facebook), respond in that same medium explaining that you’d love to support their worthy cause, but that your charitable budget has been allocated elsewhere. And then do just that: allocate your budget however you like, towards the causes that you get really excited about supporting.

As an addendum, if there is a cause that you are particularly keen on, why not consider getting involved with it yourself? Supporting your friend is an excellent way to start, but perhaps it’s just the beginning.

(First published on She Does The City, March 2013)

Send those thank you emails. Send them liberally and sincerely.

Bilton suggests a continuum that suggests the more interaction required, the more taxing (and rude) that interaction must be. Therefore, efficiency and minimal interaction surely must be the apex of good etiquette. But etiquette has never been about efficiency. That’s why there are so many forks and fussy rules on how to use them. That is also why the art of penning a well-thought thank you note has never been more important. It’s not time wasted. It’s time invested.

And while efficiency is key, particularly in a business capacity (I too like doing business with smart people who are respectful of my time), I also appreciate doing business with nice people. Kindness and thoughtfulness go a long way in building and maintaining relationships, a distance that efficiency alone cannot.

Not every medium is conducive to the same degree of communications. Texting, email, phone calls, face-to-faces meetings and Twitter (as Bilton’s mom can attest to, he explains this is how they keep in touch) all have a role but they are not fungible. You can’t take out a phone conversation and plug in a Tweet as a replacement and not expect to loss some substance.

There are no “time wasting forms of communication,” just poorly chosen forms for certain occasions.

(First published on The Huffington Post Canada, March 2013)

A great start to my morning as a guest on The Morning Show — thanks for having me, Global!

The link to the original test is here. Not feeling testy? You can skip the quiz and just get to the answers here.

When greeting someone for the first time, a cupped handshake (in which my left hand covers the normal handshake) is a good way to show my sincerity and interest.

a. True
b. False

When socializing at a cocktail party, it is best to hold my glass in which hand?

a. Right
b. Left
c. It doesn’t make a difference

During a business meeting at an up-scale restaurant, a lady should expect a gentleman to pull her chair out for her.

a. Yes, or else he is not really a gentleman
b. No, the days of gallantry have passed
c. No, but it would be nice if he did

In Japan, gift-giving protocol dictates that it is best to avoid offering gifts wrapped in which color wrapping paper?

a. Blue
b. White
c. Black

During a business meal, it is permissible to place my cellular telephone on the table?

a. True
b. False

The following is an appropriate introduction: Mr. Client Dubois, I would like to introduce to you Mrs. Boss Whitman.

a. Yes
b. No

Who goes through a revolving door first, the host or the visitor?

a. The Host
b. The Visitor

When is it okay to send confidential information via email or to discuss client business on a cell/mobile phone in a semi-private area?

a. Anytime
b. Only when it is urgent
c. Email if it is a private address. Cell phone if not many people are around.
d. Never

When you are finished eating, your napkin should be?

a. Folded loosely and placed on the right side of the plate.
b. Folded loosely and placed on the left side of the plate.
c. Folded loosely and placed in the center of the plate.
d. Placed on the seat of your chair.

When dining in India, which hand should you eat with?

a. The right hand
b. The left hand
c. Either hand

In which countries should the “OK” sign be avoided (thumb and forefinger forming a circle with other three fingers splayed upward)?

a. France
b. Germany
c. Japan
d. Brazil
e. Russia
f. All of the above

When at meetings at which people are wearing name tags, the best place to put my name tag is on my left chest area.

a. True
b. False