Tag Archives: Wardrobe

Ask An Expert: To Remove Shoes Or Not?

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There are ample sartorial conundrums out there – can you show your bra straps or how short is too short for a wear-to-work skirt? But one of the biggest issues we’ll all face at some point involves footwear, specifically to remove or not remove at a party?

To help us answer this conundrum (and to ensure you do the fashionably forward thing at your next house party), we contacted our resident etiquette expert Karen Cleveland of Finishing School.

The mark of a good host is whether or not they allow guests leave their shoes on? To think of all the time wasted, mixing drinks, whipping up food and introducing guests to each other. Pity. There is no right or wrong answer to this conundrum. But there is a place for common sense. Are these shoes freshly in from an icy or sopping wet walk on an April day? Or are they sandals that have been meticulously wiped on the front door, practically spotless, on a dry June evening.

More variables: is your carpet white or made of the skin of an exotic animal? Is your flooring fairly low maintenance hardwood that cleans up with a quick wipe? Despite all of these things to consider, it’s the host’s call, though they risk bristling a guest that differs in shoe placement opinion.

Hosts: there is a tacit liability that when you invite guest over, they might unintentionally get your things dirty. If you have an area rug that is really precious, roll that white animal skin rug up and put it away for the night. Don’t serve exclusively red wine, particularly if the crowd or occasion is bound to get raucous. If you prefer guests keep their shoes off, enlist the help of your trusted friends. Ask them to arrive a bit early and stage their shoes just so, so that other guests will hopefully get their cue.

Guests: if there is a stack of shoes at the entrance to a party, that is a clear signal to take off your shoes and add them to the pile. Get a vodka soda or other transparent beverage and start dancing on the nearest white animal skin rug.

Questions, comments and conundrums are most welcome at twitter.com/schoolfinishing or formspring.me/KarenCleveland.

(Originally published on Stylelist Canada, April, 2013)

What’s ‘cocktail’ attire?

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What does it mean when a party invite stipulates ‘cocktail’ attire?

Of all of life’s enigmas, dress codes can be the most difficult to crack. And the festive season brings a deluge of societal invitations, many of them seemingly crafted by a U-boat’s encryption specialist. When a party planner specifies “holiday formal” or “smart casual,” she might as well be demanding “late-period Etruscan.” Fortunately, the vagueness of “cocktail attire” belies its rather straightforward meaning. For gentlemen, the standard uniform is a dark suit, crisp dress shirt of a solid colour or subtle pattern, a tie and dress shoes. For women, this is an occasion to wear what Mrs. McArdle describes as “a little black dress.” Remember that cocktail functions are a time for refinement, not excess. As etiquette expert Karen Cleveland wisely advised me: “You don’t want to be the flashiest person in the room, but you don’t want to be the most underdressed. You just want to look really well put together.” To “gussy” oneself up, Cleveland, proprietor of the excellent Finishing School blog, advises gents to consider a nice pocket square or a pair of great cufflinks, while ladies can take their pick of jewelry. But please, convey holiday cheer through actions, not fashion. “You don’t want to be pulling out the reindeer sweater your grandmother gave you,” says Cleveland. “Exercise good sartorial judgment.” Words that wise should be printed on a T-shirt.

Need advice? Want to settle a debate? Go ahead, ask McArdle anything: Askmcardle@canadianbusiness.com

Illustration by Peter Arkle

(First published in Canadian Business, November 2012)

What’s in your bag, Karen Cleveland?

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What’s in your bag, Karen Cleveland?

Photography by Farzin Ghayour

Y’all better take note, because what’s inside today’s bag speaks volumes on how to make things happen. Karen Cleveland, FASHION’s senior manager of marketing and communications, is our resident wheeler and dealer, who makes sponsorships, partnerships and all other ships happen with a smile (and a sincere one at that) perma-planted. To boot, she’s also an etiquette expert, sharing advice (and trust us, she’s always right) on Twitter via @SchoolFinishing. So without further ado, what does this power babe tote along all day long?

Post continued here!

(First published on FASHION Magazine, August 2012)

Suiting Up When the Temperature is Up

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It seems naturally easier to look and dress more professionally in the fall and winter, when conditions beckon us to cover up in layers of wool and knits. While my heart aches for the gentlemen I pass on my morning commute, braving scorching hot days in dark suits (while making it look so handsome), it is possible to feel comfortable and look pulled together during the warmer months.

  • If you are in an active job or commute to the office on foot, a pair of stilettos might not make sense for an entire day. That doesn’t, however, mean the same shoes worn to mow the lawn on the weekend are the answer. A pretty pair of flats or loafers are both functional and chic for the office, or for commuting.
  • Work-worthy fabrics shouldn’t be too sheer or tight (check in natural lighting to see if your underthings are showing through). Ensure that the neckline and sleeve-cut mitigate any rogue bra straps from peeking out.
  • Keep a basic blazer at the office and toss it on when the air conditioning is cranked, or when a meeting calls for it. In the same vein that leggings are not pants (they aren’t), camisoles are not tops.
  • Fewer things ruin an otherwise polished look than seeing someone who can’t walk in her heels. Only buy shoes that you can comfortably get around in. Feet should be kept groomed and neat — otherwise please don’t show them.
  • Open-toe shoes are often verboten in very corporate environments, though an inventory around the office or a scan of your HR policy should confirm if they are welcome at yours. If there’s a green light on open-toe shoes, they should still be office appropriate, so no flip flops, or strappy stilettos — nothing too beachy or cocktail-party.
  • Skirts and dresses can fit differently without tights on underneath. Try them on to check they aren’t too sheer or too short to be worn with bare legs to the office. If you can sit comfortably in a skirt without having to tug at the hemline, then it is likely a good length — and that is usually an inch or so above the knee. If you are braving a hemline that is a bit shorter (please, not too much shorter at the office), keep the rest of your outfit and shoes more modest to balance the look.
  • If the idea of adding powder to your face on a hot day feels icky, try blotting papers instead to soak up grease and freshen up.

(First published on The Huffington Post Canada, May 2012)

Office attire for the dog days of summer

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Office attire for the dog days of summer

The summer blazer of our dreams: Smythe Pajama Blazer in Cobalt. WANT!

Fall and winter in Canada beckon for wools and knits—dressing for the office is a cinch. And while my heart aches for the Bay Street gentlemen I pass on my morning commute, braving scorching days in head-to-toe wool while looking so handsome in those well cut suits, it is possible to feel comfortable and look pulled together during the warmer months.

  • If you are in an active job or walk to work, a pair of teetering heels don’t make sense. That doesn’t mean the same flips flops worn puttering around on the weekend are the answer, either.  A pretty pair of flats or loafers are both functional and chic for the office, or for commuting.
  • Work-worthy fabrics shouldn’t be too sheer or tight (check in natural lighting to see if your underthings are showing through). Ensure that the neckline and sleeve cut mitigate any rogue bra straps from peeking out and find a bra that has souped up straps you can move around.
  • Keep a basic blazer or cardigan at the office and toss it on when the A.C. is cranked, or when a meeting calls for it. In the same way that leggings are not pants (they aren’t), camisoles are not tops – they are lingerie.
  • Fewer things ruin an otherwise polished look more than seeing someone who can’t walk in her heels. Only buy shoes that you can comfortably get around in. Feet should be kept groomed and neat, otherwise, please, don’t show them. No gnarly calluses or chipped polish.
  • Open toe shoes are often verboten in very corporate environments, though an inventory around the office or a scan of your HR policy should confirm if they are welcome at yours. If there’s a green light on open toe shoes, they should still be office appropriate, so no flip flops, or strappy stilettos—nothing too beachy or cocktaily.
  • Skirts and dresses can sit differently without tights on underneath. Try them on to check they aren’t too sheer or too short to be worn with bare legs to the office. If you can sit comfortably in a skirt without having to tug at the hemline, then it is likely a good length—and that is usually an inch or so above the knee. If you are braving a hemline that is a bit shorter (please, not *too* much shorter at the office), keep the rest of your outfit and shoes more modest to balance the look.
  • If the idea of adding powder to your face on a hot day feels icky, try blotting papers instead to soak up grease and freshen up.

(First published on She Does The City, May 2012)

How to match substance with style like Michelle Obama

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by Rosemary Counter

If you ever meet the Queen, there is protocol to follow: subjects must call her “Your Majesty” on first reference and “ma’am” after, and a bow or curtsy is not a bad idea. Most important is the “no-touch” rule: let the Queen extend her hand to you, and shake without squeezing or lingering. Do not touch the Queen’s shoulder, kiss her cheeks, or hug her.

Unless you’re Michelle Obama. In this case, crack a joke and go in for the embrace.

“Michelle hugs everybody, that’s her spirit,” says Newsweek writer Allison Samuels. The first time she met the first lady was backstage at an awards ceremony in Atlanta, when security guards tried to stop Samuels’s mother from approaching Obama, who intervened. “She said, ‘Don’t make mama leave, she’s gotta stay!’ Then Michelle gave her a big hug. My mother still talks about that moment.”

It’s not what we’re used to from first ladies, but Michelle Obama—real, down to earth, accessible—is like your best girlfriend. When challenged to a push-up competition on The Ellen Degeneres Show last month, Obama removed her jacket and dropped to the floor. (The first lady won by a landslide.)

Good television, yes, but is it good etiquette? “Truthfully, I don’t even think she cares about that stuff,” says Samuels, the author of What Would Michelle Do?: A Modern-Day Guide to Living with Substance and Style. In the vein of two similar books by different authors—2005’s What Would Jackie Do? and 2008’s What Would Audrey Do?—this is a lifestyle guide to fashion, friends and family according to Michelle Obama.

For example, it exhorts readers to pick a theme song (the book suggests something by Chaka Khan), own their accomplishments (and their mistakes), and take risks. Do make lists and timelines, write thank-you notes, and read three newspapers a day. But don’t covet others’ lives, let your anger at your husband’s absences get the better of you, or spend too much time with your BlackBerry.

Noticeably absent is any use-this-fork protocol. “Michelle’s about strength and education; the style and etiquette came later,” says Samuels. “Michelle grew up poor, but had the brains and dedication to get scholarships, to graduate from Harvard Law, to push herself forward—but not by meeting a man. This is what makes Michelle a modern-day icon.”

That said, don’t pick a dud either. An old joke has the first lady bumping into an old flame at a dinner. The President says to her, “Just think, if you’d married him, you’d be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which she replies, “No, if I’d married him, he would be the President!” The same story has been told of Hillary Clinton and Barbara Bush, but in this case, one of Obama’s Harvard professors told Samuels he wouldn’t have been surprised if Michelle Obama had become president.

Even if you’re smarter, let your husband shine. “During the first election, people found her overpowering and a bit intimidating. When she realized she was hurting him, she toned it down. She lost the corporate outfits, she softened up,” says Samuels.

Be sure to dress the part. You’ll see Obama in dresses, cardigans and pearls, but she does take some chances. “She wears Jason Wu and Alexander McQueen, but also Banana Republic and the Gap. She’s the first first lady we’ve had in years who really loves fashion.”

Don’t judge others too harshly; learn from their mistakes. “Any comparison of first ladies should be couched in comparing the times,” cautions Toronto etiquette writer Karen Cleveland, who calls Obama “the antithesis of pretension.” Despite our tabloid culture, she “humanized and modernized her role so she’s very easy to identify with.”

Ultimately, be a role model. Samuels says Obama is important to young African-American women: “Michelle’s an icon because she teaches us that you can make your own fairy tale,” explains Samuels, emphasizing that when Michelle met Barack, he had holes in his shoes and drove a junker. “Reality shows teach young girls to go get a rich baller—a basketball player or a rapper,” she says. “But don’t be like that. Don’t be a Kardashian; be a Michelle.”

(First published in Macleans’, March 2012)

Holiday etiquette: wardrobe malfunction and conversation advice from Karen Cleveland

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by Sarah Kelsey

With so many things on the go during the holidays, it can be easy to stumble into a seasonal snafu.

Never fear: we have answers to your “How do I handle this?!” holiday questions (Tweet us or add a comment below) thanks to Karen Cleveland of the Finishing School — a national column devoted to etiquette, manners and civility.

This week, Cleveland tackles wardrobe malfunctions and how to remember names.

Sexy, festive clothing is popular this time of year, but can also present an element of risk. What do you do if you have a wardrobe malfunction?

“Even in our wretched winter weather, we still turn it out at the holidays, don’t we? ‘Festive’ attire is subjective, so dress for the occasion: an office holiday party is still a professional occasion,” says Cleveland. “Still, even the greatest dress or pair of heels in the store won’t flatter the wearer if they don’t feel comfortable in it.”

She adds: “You’re far more likely to have a wardrobe slip-up if your dress is too tight or short or you can’t walk properly in your shoes. There is nothing less attractive than seeing someone tugging at the bust line of their ill-fitting dress all night.”

And if your clothing betrays you and you end up showing off more skin than you intended, deal with it as gracefully and swiftly as possible. “If it’s an issue that needs serious tending to (a split seam, popped button, etc.) make those adjustments in private. And if anyone notices the mishap, address it quietly with a coy “phew, that was close” whisper — and maybe a playful wink if you’re not shy about who saw too much of your skin.”

You’re terrible with names, but know you’ll be meeting a tonne of people over the holidays. How can you go about remembering who people are? And, if you slip up a name, how can you admit you don’t “know” who they are?

“Full disclosure: I’m terrible with names so I don’t get as fussed when I meet people and they don’t remember mine. Introductions can be so fast and fleeting, particularly at a time of year when our calendars are at their busiest. It can be impossibly hard to catch who-is-who or the proper pronunciation of someone’s name. I find that repeating someone’s name when you’re introduced to them can help with recall,” says Cleveland.

If you’re in that moment when the face looks familiar, but the name just won’t come: “You cannot go wrong with simply re-introducing yourself. It instantly puts everyone at ease. If you like, you can further soften the situation by making a quick self-effacing joke, like “Ever since I turned 30, I’ve been plagued by short-term memory loss. I’m so sorry, can I reintroduce myself?”

“Even if you’re quite sure you remember someone’s name, but there’s enough doubt to stall you, avoid the guessing game that can endlessly gone on and on. Refrain from taking stabs in the dark of “I think we met X or at that X or did you work at X? Wait, was it the X?” By the time that goes on for 10 minutes (and you’re repeatedly dead wrong), the person may not want to meet you after all.”

(First published in The Huffington Post Canada, December 2011)

Holiday etiquette: wardrobe malfunction and conversation advice

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With so many things on the go during the holidays, it can be easy to stumble into a seasonal snafu.

Never fear: we have answers to your “How do I handle this?!” holiday questions (Tweet us or add a comment below) thanks to Karen Cleveland of the Finishing School — a national column devoted to etiquette, manners and civility.

This week, Cleveland tackles wardrobe malfunctions and how to remember names.

Sexy, festive clothing is popular this time of year, but can also present an element of risk. What do you do if you have a wardrobe malfunction?

“Even in our wretched winter weather, we still turn it out at the holidays, don’t we? ‘Festive’ attire is subjective, so dress for the occasion: an office holiday party is still a professional occasion,” says Cleveland. “Still, even the greatest dress or pair of heels in the store won’t flatter the wearer if they don’t feel comfortable in it.”

She adds: “You’re far more likely to have a wardrobe slip-up if your dress is too tight or short or you can’t walk properly in your shoes. There is nothing less attractive than seeing someone tugging at the bust line of their ill-fitting dress all night.”

And if your clothing betrays you and you end up showing off more skin than you intended, deal with it as gracefully and swiftly as possible. “If it’s an issue that needs serious tending to (a split seam, popped button, etc.) make those adjustments in private. And if anyone notices the mishap, address it quietly with a coy “phew, that was close” whisper — and maybe a playful wink if you’re not shy about who saw too much of your skin.”

You’re terrible with names, but know you’ll be meeting a tonne of people over the holidays. How can you go about remembering who people are? And, if you slip up a name, how can you admit you don’t “know” who they are?

“Full disclosure: I’m terrible with names so I don’t get as fussed when I meet people and they don’t remember mine. Introductions can be so fast and fleeting, particularly at a time of year when our calendars are at their busiest. It can be impossibly hard to catch who-is-who or the proper pronunciation of someone’s name. I find that repeating someone’s name when you’re introduced to them can help with recall,” says Cleveland.

If you’re in that moment when the face looks familiar, but the name just won’t come: “You cannot go wrong with simply re-introducing yourself. It instantly puts everyone at ease. If you like, you can further soften the situation by making a quick self-effacing joke, like “Ever since I turned 30, I’ve been plagued by short-term memory loss. I’m so sorry, can I reintroduce myself?”

“Even if you’re quite sure you remember someone’s name, but there’s enough doubt to stall you, avoid the guessing game that can endlessly gone on and on. Refrain from taking stabs in the dark of “I think we met X or at that X or did you work at X? Wait, was it the X?” By the time that goes on for 10 minutes (and you’re repeatedly dead wrong), the person may not want to meet you after all.”

(Published on The Huffington Post Canada, December 2011)

How do I tell a friend they dress way to sexy?

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I just love reader questions! Jumpy claps! You asked…
How do I tell a friend they dress way too sexy? Her clothes are often in really bad taste for her body and the occasion.

Who cares if your friend dresses sexy? Do you pick your friends based on their clothes? Now that is in bad taste.

If your friend shows you the black lace tube dress she plans on wearing to the Sunday brunch baby shower that the two of you are co-hosting, then it could be time to raise a proverbial “yellow card”.

Tell her that her parents called and told her to get upstairs and change out of that non-baby-shower-appropriate dress, ASAP, young lady.

Humour is the best approach, but only if it is an occasion where attire is event-specific (baby showers, funerals, weddings, etc.) and even then, proceed with caution. Your friend’s clothing isn’t really your concern.

(First published on She Does the City, September 2011)

TIFF 2011: Your etiquette guide to getting past those velvet ropes

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Just how far do immaculate manners go in lifting the velvet rope of the seemingly impermeable world that is the Toronto International Film Fest? You may be surprised. The best service-based spots in the city fill up fast, so you might find yourself jostling for a hair appointment alongside Keira Knightley or gunning to get into a bar in which Brad and Angelina are holding court.

Get creative. Be willing to shorten your requested service by settling for a blow-out rather than a full cut or taking a polish change over a manicure. With immaculate phone manners, politely ask to be added to a wait list, and check in regularly to see if anything has opened up. While no establishment would likely admit it, a lovely pleasant customer is more likely to find her name at the top of a waiting list than a gruff, demanding client.

Krista Foulis, spa director at Stillwater Spa at celebrity hotbed the Park Hyatt, agrees that patience and politeness go a long way. The spa gussies up their staff during TIFF and have even extended their hours occasionally, for, ahem, certain A-list clients. If the salon is fully booked, she reminds that in-room treatments might still be available. You could spring for a suite at the hotel and get gorgeous in your own room. Decadent–and worth every penny.

Late-night institution Goodnight is bound to be a TIFF destination, with a few A-list parties already slated for the spot. Owner Matt George prides himself on the neighbourhood vibe of the spot and loves it when customers treat the space like their own living room. But don’t dream of trying to grease a bouncer’s palm at Goodnight. Says George: “It’s all about building a relationship with the staff, so you can walk right in even if Brad Pitt is inside.” Get to it well become the film fest sweeps into town (as if you needed an excuse to drink another of their legendary Manhattans).

(First published in FASHION Magazine, September 2011)